Flying High

im flying high

and soaring though the sky

i can see you down below

looking so small

i fly with the Ravens wings

so sleek and black

over looking the battle

i soar with Morrighan

going one by one

to the brave souls

who are now done

you stand so tall

your shell now gone

your sword still in your hand

on the ground

a young healer comes

to cry for the fallen

her brother lay slain

fallen on the land

her cry is the only sound

heard across the land

a young girl's tears shed

for a warrior and friend

a brother never to be known again

i fly so high

looking down on the carnage

the land barren of all souls

save for the healer...

with no one to heal

Lovers for a Night

I'm looking for a shining star

I'm looking for a wish to come true

a wish for me and you

a night together

under the stars

no fighting

just a peace in our hearts

my love for you

and yours for me

we will walk on the battle field

side by side

children baptized in blood

in lives long gone by

standing back to back

knowing the other is there

when the battle is done

and we walk away from the carnage

it is in each others arms we find solace

as the night wanes to day

we part and walk our separate paths

to find one another again

on another battle field

My Son

i see you standing there

so tall and confident in your self

just waiting to spread you wings

and fly

i know some day you will

will fly far from here

and me ....

i watch you walk the crooked path

the path of life

with its twists and turns

i can only hope that

i have taught you well

i can only pray

that the Lord and Lady

will guide your feet

i can see its going

to be a bumpy ride

with many hills and valleys

as i watch you grow

and walk your path

i can only pray that

your feet remain firm on your path

with all the bumps and bruises

that we get from life

i know that you will do well

that you will learn what you need to

now a young man

soon to be a man with

all the responsibilities of life

walk tall my son

keeping your feet on your path

The Reality of You

the days slowly go by

one at a time

hour by hour

minute by minute

year by year

and season following season

you are in my heart

you flit in my thoughts

in my dreams

and in my thoughts

you sit there

your hand out for me to hold

the reality of you

is more wonderful than dreams

can suggest

the reality of me

a mere shadow by far

like the day enshrouded by the mists

one day melds into another

i can see you clearly

the day is gone

yet there you are

waiting for me

i reach for you

you hold me close

i wake to the reality

of your strong loving arms around me

the mists fade

you are still with me

day by day

year after year

season following season

i wake to feel you close to me

close to my heart

forever a part of my soul

Dreams, Wishes and Lies

wishing you could be here

with me tonight

to see all the stars in the night sky

it wouldnt be the stars that id be watching

my eyes would be locked on you

full of wonder and love

love for you that might

never be told

wonder that you might

feel the same

AH the dreams that we dream

and the wishes that we make

the lies we tell ourselves

will it all lead us down a sad little path

will it lead me to your arms

will you find your way to me

i dream a dream

i wish a wish

and tell my self lies

just to make it through

a dream of you

a wish for two

a lie to fill my soul

a dream for you

a wish to come true

and a lie that can become the truth

how silly of me to lie to me

but the wish is in my heart

and the dream ....

the dream of two

could be so real

the wish in my heart

that could never be a lie

wishing you could be here this night

dreaming in the night

telling my self it could all be true....

Follow Me

follow me

into my dreams

see the place i call home

follow me into my dreams

and find my happiness

where my heart lies

follow me

slip into my space

wrap yourself in my darkness

let my dreams

envelope you

let them bring you close to me

can you feel the heat

rising from within

my heat caressing you

do you see the fire

that burns within

the flames light my eyes

follow me in to my dreams

deep into the shadows

close your eyes

and feel my touch

follow me if you dare

reach out and touch

what you may

if you follow me

deep into the shadows

you will only find yourself

standing in my heart of hearts

follow me into my dreams

if you think you can

reach for me in the darkness

let my love slide along you

follow me into my dreams

you only have a short time

i feel the light coming

even in my dream you fade

you cant stay here

and im not ready to leave

come to me in the night

come follow me into my dreams

let my love embrace you

in ways that my arms cannot

follow me in the night

come walk in my dark light

follow me into my dreams....

I Dream of a Time

i want to feel you next to me

to know your kiss

your touch

i want to sit with you

to hear you talk

your laughter

i want to walk with you

to feel the sun on us

the wind caressing us

i dream of a time

a time in the future

a place we can meet

i dream of a time

a time to walk

a time to talk

i dream of a time

a time i can see you

a time to hear you

i dream of a time

a time that may never come

a kiss that will never be

The Broken Shadow

I am becoming a broken shadow

I am here, yet not

I am lost in the darkness

I wait here on the street

hoping to see you

knowing i never will

you look, and see right though me

I call out to you

you don't hear me

I reach for you

you are gone

I am alone in the street

a broken shadow

never to be seen

A Chat In the Darkness

i chat with you in the dark hours

like a vampire in the night

wanting more of what i cannot have

i cannot see your face in the dark

i cannot hear your voice

i can only go by the words on my screen

at the very least i want to hear your voice

to know your accent

to hear its deepness

is it gentle and smooth

or deep and rough

maybe a mix of both

as my fingers touch the key

i wonder what you think about

are your fingers resting on the

keys as well

i chat with you in the light hours

you are a piece of sunshine

as we share parts of our day

i still cannot see your face

or hear your voice

im still going by the words on my screen

both the days and nights we chat

i love the way you think

and your sense of humor

i wonder where the time has gone

i sit here in the darkness

like a vampire in the night

waiting for you

knowing you are not waiting for me

world of dreams

wish i could wrap myself in your arms

and fall asleep to the beat of your heart

to wake in the morning to your voice

whispering that you want me too

i know i live in a world of dreams

i know this may not be possible

i just want you to know

that you own a part of my heart

that if i had the chance

i would be there with you

i know i live in a world of dreams

where you and i are together

walking hand in hand

sharing touches and deep kisses

in this world of dreams

you know that i am here for you

that i want to be with you

not just as friends

but as lovers as well

in this world of dreams

i am in your arms dancing

you are holding me close

to your heart

yes, I live in a world of dreams

a dream where i am apart of your world

not in a dream

in a world where we can

walk hand in hand

where you know in truth

that i am here for you

at all times

in all things

yes, I live in a world of dreams....

A World of Dreams

wish i could wrap myself in your arms

and fall asleep to the beat of your heart

to wake in the morning to your voice

whispering that you want me too

i know i live in a world of dreams

i know this may not be possible

i just want you to know

that you own a part of my heart

that if i had the chance

i would be there with you

i know i live in a world of dreams

where you and i are together

walking hand in hand

sharing touches and deep kisses

in this world of dreams

you know that i am here for you

that i want to be with you

not just as friends

but as lovers as well

in this world of dreams

i am in your arms dancing

you are holding me close

to your heart

yes, I live in a world of dreams

a dream where i am apart of your world

not in a dream

in a world where we can

walk hand in hand

where you know in truth

that i am here for you

at all times

in all things

yes, I live in a world of dreams....

Dark and Light

feeling like i should have

stayed in the shadows

where you cant see me

yet i can see you

somewhere dark and safe

where i dont have to know

the ins and outs of the light

in knowing you

i have placed my heart in your hands

you have the potential to crush it

or maybe you will learn

to love the darkness as well

i have the butterflies of the light

fluttering in my stomach

maybe they are the moths of the night

knowing and not knowing

what is to take place

all will be well

all will be changed

i step into the light

i see you watching

one foot in front of the other

making my way to you

will you accept my darkness

can i play in your light

maybe we can find a place

where the light caresses the darkness

a place for you and i to met and love

to learn to accept one another

slipping back into the shadows

i wonder why...

why you want me

a child of the shadows

that only wants to be in

the light of your love

Sunset Dreams

The wave upon the shore

is like my heart beat

as I sit here I feel

my pulse in sync with

each wave

The sand on my feet

like a lovers caress

a little rough

yet so smooth

The breeze caressing me

makes me think of you

your breath across my skin

your hands playing in my hair

The last of the sun's rays

glittering across the water

like a happy tear running

down my cheek

I sit here being

lulled into a dream

by the waves and breeze

Dreams of you

that I wish could come true.

A World Dreams

walking in a world of dreams

where everything is untouchable

i reach my hand out to you

only to have you slip through my fingers

my voice calls to you

only to go unheard echoing off the walls

i cannot see though the mist

there are only shadows of reality

are you here

are you real

maybe I'm not really here

i don't think I'm real

just a distant memory

a thought out of time

I walk through this world of dreams

looking for you, looking for me

a place where everything is

yet there is nothing

a world where reality and dreams collide

they crash together as the waves on the shore

in the distance i walk through this world

where all is untouchable

walking in a world of dreams

where everything is untouchable

Vampire... Merlot

so red

so dark

so smooth

i want more

i want to tingle

i want to shiver

goes down so smooth

spreading heat as it goes

leaving me wanting more

I see my chalice is getting empty

but my thirst remains

one more glass

is all i ask

more of the deep darkness

that can be tasted

the spice of immortal life

you relieve the long hours of the night

sip by sip you calm my nervous energy

sip by sinful sip you leave me wanting more

more of your immortal taste

my chalice is empty

i can still taste you on my lips

so dark and spicey

the light is coming

the darkness is done

i will be back

for another taste

of your immortal soul

Take Me As I Am

Take me as I am

take me as i am

im not special

just me

just a woman

walking my own path

looking for missing pieces of my soul

i am not perfect

i am a person of faults

i write in the darkness

for fear you will see me

and not really know me

i cry in the rain

for the shame of tears

i cannot let you see

i smile in the summer sun

it warms me

as the breeze caresses me

i scream my frustration in the storm

that way no one knows my pain

i play in the puddles

as a child seeking enjoyment

through the dark and light

in the sun and storms

please take me as i am

a child a girl a woman

seeking fulfillment

seeking a place of my own

as a daughter, mother and wife

i have been lost in a title

drop the title and see me

see the woman standing in the shadows

I seek the light of your love

Lost in a Moment of Time

Lost in a Moment of Time

lost in a moment of time

lost in thoughts of you

lost in this moment

that will never came back

lost in a moment of time

a time of happiness

a time of love and joy

a time unchanging

lost in a moment of time

a time of sorrow

a time of loss

a time of remembrance

lost in a moment of time

a touch

a sensation

a feeling

never to be felt again

lost in a moment of time

it lasts for an eternity

lingering in a memory

suspended in time

lost in a moment of time

cant go back

cant go forward

stopped in the moment

Forgotten Remembrance

I had forgotten the feel of the Sun's kiss

of the gentle breeze caressing my skin

the grass tickling my feet

I had forgotten the rich spice sent of the summer air

flowers in bloom

the sounds of the leaves

rustling in the wind

I had forgotten how to sit still and listen

to the many birds calling out

the bees buzzing by

the water lapping at the shore

I had forgotten how to quiet my mind

and become one with nature

to join my energy to hers

I sit here in remembrance of all I have forgotten

of all I want to be.

This past week i have had 2 amazing days!

The first... I want for an amazing walk with my Husband. I haven't felt that close to nature since i was a child. To smell all the green growing things and the decaying ones, it was so ... WOW!

To walk along the river and see life from a different point of view. OMGs it was incredible!

Just to feel the energy coming from the land!

Then today... another WOW!

I really thought today was going to be a down day. We went to my Uncle Moose's funeral... supposed to be a time of mourning ( at least to our culture) became a time finding life. Reclaiming life and what she has to offer. I became alive again, in so many ways.

Once again we went for another amazing walk, during our drive home. To feel that close to nature.. to feel the breeze across ones skin and to hear the creek running in the distance. Once again to feel the energy coming from all of nature, the trees the grasses, just everything!

Then there was the conversation on the way home... another WOW! haha haha Lots of those today! To be able to talk so freely about our thoughts and feelings... about everything!

Especially about different kinds of relationships... WOW! Its amazing ... to have my husband see me as a real person with thoughts and desires and feelings, not just a barbie doll, stepford wife!

I think Uncle Moose would have a proved of today's events :D

I know I did!

i just hope my Friend will as well.... although I'm not sure how much I'm ready to tell him! hah! we'll just see where things go! ;)

I am feeling more alive today then i have in a very long time.... thank you Husband and a special thanks to Uncle Moose!

On a funny last note...

How many husband will sit and help their wife pick out a new boyfriend? that was so much fun with you Love! Knowing that its all in fun....

Comment on a Comment

Someone left a comment about the type of person my husband must be... in order for me to be able to talk with him about anything. I have to ask... what kind of relationship would we have if we couldn't talk with each other. i dont want a realtionship that i cannot express myself and my husband just nods his head and thinks im a silly female. There is far to much of that out there.

Knowing my husband as i do, i know he is interested in what i have to say and in what i am thinking. Sometimes my thoughts even inspire him. In his thoughts and actions.

i dont pretend to put our realtionship on a pedastel... it would only fall and get broken. We are not with out our own faults, both in our selves and our relationship. It's called being human.

BUT

i do know that after all these years of being with my husband (and actually talking with him) that he would never pretend to show interest in something or some one when he has no interest in these areas. NO, hes not a perfect person... i wouldn't want him to be...

As for him being open minded... lol* he would have to be, to be interested in the things that he is. All having nothing to do with my interests. although we talk about his interests, thoughts and ideas as much as we do mine. It's a sharing of minds... not just bodies...

A good... no a wonderful, but not perfect relationship needs a sharing of the minds. If a couple cannot be best friends and share everything then what is the point?? Just great sex...? what happens when thats not enough to keep two people together?? what happens if a couple doesn't talk, truely share their minds and the kids grow up and start their own lives?? the couple no longer know each other... they either start all over or the fall a part. they usually become starngers to one another. Its very sad to see happen.

OK I'm tried and starting to ramble.. OOps!

My husband would even understand that... and let me carry on asking questions all the while.

Time Lines and What Ifs

There are so many thoughts and ideas running through me brain right now. Most i have talked over with my Husband... but they still seem to plague me. This is not really a bad thing...

 

Time lines.... is it possible to live more then one? Is that what deja 'vu s are... glimpse of another time line you have already been through? Are you supposed to do something different, say something that might change the out come of a situation? OR  did you already do or say something to change the out come and this is a check point ?

And then there are the dreams that are so real that you don't realise you are dreaming until you wake up. different time line? maybe Past or future life times??

Then I wonder about the people in my life or that i have met for Brief moments in time...

What about the people that it feels like we have known them for ever... but we just met. Were we connected some how in a past life or a alternate timeline? what about the people that we have an instant attraction to? or an instant dislike for? If it is feelings from a past life or different time line ... why do these feeling carry through? shouldn't we all start fresh? Are we supposed to reconnect with these people (souls) for a reason? are we supposed to learn something from them? are they supposed to learn something from us?

Its all more then enough to make ones head spin!

This is one of the thoughts, ideas that runs like a crazy person through my head.

The other is the 'What if'.

We all seem to play the What If game. 'What if I did B instead of A?'

Would everything have been different in our lives. Or would we still be where we are today?

I know i have many What IF points of my life. What if i would have stood up to my Dad? What if i would have dated person R instead of person S? Would I have still met person J? How different would life be now?

Could have, should have, would have, didnt... i guess we are where we are in life for a reason. Here we sit... wondering what lesson we are supposed to learn from the different events in our lives. Do we learn our lessons or do we come back to try it all again....

yeah... im thinking its an intrestingly scary place inside my head! 

Brightest Bessings to all!

Sitting In The Dark

Sitting In the Dark

i sit here in the dark

thinking about you

thinking about me

i sit here wondering

wondering where this

path will lead

will it lead me to you

will it lead you to me

will it lead anywhere

i sit here and wonder

i wonder if you wonder about me

do you think about me

i wonder so many things

about you

about me

im sitting here in the dark

thinking of all the possibilities

i wonder where this path is leading...

Inside Your Soul

Inside Your Soul

Reach inside your soul

and you ll find me there

We have been apart

of each other since

before the start of time

Reach inside your soul

and tear me out

When we are apart

we fall to pieces

dust across the lands

Reach inside your soul

to find me and love me

Don't turn away

don't run from what has

always been and will be

Reach inside your soul

caress me as your lover

Feel me burn for you

a fire in your blood

burning out of control

Reach inside your soul

tame the flames

Try to understand

we have been here before

time and time again

as the wheel turns

Reach inside your soul

here i wait for you

Season after season

year following year

i wait for you to reach in

Reach inside your soul

and you ll find me there

To Hold Someone

To Hold Someone

to hold someone whos heart is cold

is to be warm

to hold someones whos heart is ice

yours must be as hot as Hell

To hold someone who loves you

is just right

There is no ice to melt

nothing to give warmth to

To hold someone who is in pain

is painful

To hold someone who's evil

is dreadful

To have someone hole you

is more then wonderful

They say to hold on to your dreams

is also wonderful

The dreams keep us moving

to higher peaks of life

To hold on to one of your dreams

is just a dream

To hold someone who cares about you

is purity

Just to be held by someone 

is O K

Please let me hold the one

I love most

Let me hold you

Put your arms around me

and hold me too.

DAD

DAD

i watch you laying there

you look so small and pale

not like before

you have always been so strong

so invincible

your blue eyes used to twinkle

twinkle with laughter

will i see that again?

your hair was so dark

when did it become almost white?

you have always been there

a strong presence in my life

what i thought everyone should be...

i watch you walking

its a little slower

more cautious

where did the crinkles come from

you have lived a long time

seen so much 

you have many stories to tell

tell them to me

tell them to you grandkids

Dad come share your stories